Of communities and respect

I feel old a lot, these days. It’s been about 17 years since I first sat in front of a computer (and, soon after, realised I’d be sitting in front of them for a very long time to come). It’s been about 11 years since I intrepidly stuck in a Red Hat Linux (before it was called PCQLinux ;-)) CD into my CD-ROM drive and started a voyage that continues to this day. And it’s been about 10 years since I saw the first flame-wars amidst the Indian F/OSS community. Not much has changed in all this time. I am still incredibly passionate about computing, I still love Linux and the F/OSS world for the freedom, and some Indian F/OSS communities still have a tendency to shoot themselves in the foot as soon as it starts to show some promise.

I don’t know what it is about us — perhaps we are inherently political animals, and have some basic need to take an opposing stand. Or maybe there are just enough of us that this automatically happens. Or maybe it’s not even inherently an Indian problem. It’s bound to happen in any group, and is not, in itself, a problem. What is a problem is respect. In any reasonably large group, there are bound to be people who don’t like each other. Sometimes they might even be able bring themselves to have a shred of respect for each other (an extreme that is unfortunately seen all-too-often). What is unforgivable, though, is failure to respect the community.

When you start arguing with someone, on IRC, a mailing-list, or even in person, always remember that by making the flames personal, you are disrespecting the community. By dragging everyone around you into the mud, you are sowing the seed of trouble and strife. You end up forcing people to take a side or walk away, effectively killing the community.

My post here comes from painfully watching this happen too many times. Even more so from watching it happen now. So here’s my request, nay plea — if you’re in the midst of such a tiff, take a moment to see what it’s doing to the community you’re in (I’m assuming we’re well past the “assume good will” stage here — you did start with “assume good will”, didn’t you?). If nothing else, find a way to keep what’s personal separate.

Addendum: If you’re one of the folks who shake their head and walk away when this happens, here’s my plea to you — don’t walk away. Point out to the people responsible that their personal quarrels are not germane to the community, and ask them to take it off the community’s channels of communication. If enough people did this, maybe some sense would prevail.

Note: I’m leaving comments open for constructive discussion.

Note2: In case I come off sounding like I am innocent of all this, these are lessons that I have learned the hard way.